Biker Babe

I rushed to the bike shop after work last night to go pick up my new toy...a Phat Cycles Beach Cruiser!  After searching for several weeks for a bike that would be sturdy enough to withstand my weight, I settled on a burgundy and black cruiser with leopard trim; the ride is incredibly comfortable and relaxing.  I raced home and made a quick dinner so that I could get out and start riding.

Yesterday was one of those nothing-in-the-fridge/thrown-together meals.  Normally after staring in the fridge for a few minutes and finding nothing to cook, I would settle on something quick (cereal, sandwich) or just go out to dinner.  I was in a creative mood...I boiled a chicken breast with some green onions, garlic, ginger, cumin and curry powder.  When it was done, I shredded the chicken and tossed it in a light peanut butter/coconut milk sauce I made.  Mixed in some raisins, sliced baby carrots, green onion, and cinnamon and had it on top of baby greens with mashed sweet potato on the side.  It was quite random, but tasty and light!

Honestly, I could have eaten a slice of bread for dinner...my only concern was getting outside on my bike. 

When I tested the bike at the shop, the ground was flat so I was fooled into thinking that I was Lance Armstrong!  As I mounted the bike in my garage and slowly pedaled into the driveway, the slight decline sent me flying into the street (thankfully there were no cars nearby).  They say that you never forget how to ride a bike--but they didn't say you'd remember how to steer!  As I wobbily navigated my way onto the sidewalk, I started to second guess my decision to get a bicycle...maybe I should just stick with a stationery bike! 

All doubts were erased by my second lap through the cul-de-sac.  The wind whipped the sweat from my forehead, my music thumped hard with lyrics urging me to keep going, don't start what you won't finish, go get it!!!  After about five minutes, I was filled with a euphoria that I'm sure is similar to a runner's high: I felt like a kid again...carefree, unworried, in a state of utopia.  I absolutely LOVE riding!  All day today, I've been anxiously awaiting the moment that I can get back on the saddle.

I only rode for about 25 minutes yesterday...I was too scared to ride near traffic, so stayed in the cul-de-sac...up the hill, around the cul-de-sac, back down, up and around.  I can tell that this will be a very effective workout, I immediately felt the burn in my calves, thighs and buttocks.  But the excitement far outweighed any discomfort.

I've set a few new goals/rewards for myself:

1.  When I lose 125 pounds, I will buy myself a custom hybrid bicycle for racing.

2.  I will ride in a half-journey next summer.

3.  If I can ride 100 total miles before July 31, I will treat myself to a new pair of riding shoes.

Do you have any fun workouts that make you forget you're exercising?

Pan-Seared Salmon with Mango Kiwi Salsa

Pan-seared Atlantic salmon with mango kiwi salsa on a bed of field greens.  

Salsa:
1 VERY ripe mango
2 kiwis
1/4 cup cilantro
1/8 medium red onion
Fresh lemon juice to taste

Dice mango and kiwi.  Chop cilantro and red onion in food processor for 3 seconds.  Squeeze half lemon (to taste) over mixture.  Mix well; cover in fridge to allow flavors to blend.

Salmon:
1/4 cup Bragg's Liquid Aminos (or soy sauce)
1/4 cup brown sugar
Juice of 1 lemon
4 5oz Atlantic Salmon Filets
1T Olive Oil

Mix Bragg's, brown sugar and lemon juice.  Marinate salmon in mixture for 15-30 minutes.  Discard excess marinade.

In heavy skillet, heat olive oil over medium to medium-high heat.  Cook salmon filet on one side until well seared (about 1 minute).  Drain excess olive oil and flip salmon.  Lower heat to medium-low and cook for an additional 5 minutes (check for doneness).  Serve over mixed greens.  Top with salsa.

Total Calories 450, Fat 23g, Saturated Fat 5.4g, Cholesterol 70mg, Sodium 153mg, Fiber 4.6g, Sugar 8.8g, Protein 38g, Vitamin A 3,722IU (74%), Vitamin C 50mg (67%), Calcium 85mg (9%), Iron 2mg (11%), Potassium 1,129mg (24%)

My Food Therapist

This evening I attended a dinner party for a hotel chain with whom my company has done business.  I was very nervous about going since I was feeling kind of blah today.  I had a rough day at work and thinking of the dinner automatically made me anxious: how do I stick to my plans without appearing "awkward" or turning down everything...how do I trust myself not to make bad decisions since I'm feeling emotional (especially since it's at one of my favorite restaurants!).  I had every intention of not going to the party, but my coworker wanted to go so, despite my reservations, I went along.

I am EXTREMELY proud of myself!!!  I had one drink (I'm not going to turn down a free drink!) and a few small tapas, but with 550 calories that I had left for dinner and already having met most of my nutrients for the day I am fairly confident that I stayed within my allowance.  I had a mango and some almonds before I arrived and drank about 4 glasses of water while there so that I would feel too full to eat or drink.  I know it's something small, but it seemed very big for me.  

I was speaking with my partner when I got home and explaining how when I'm feeling depressed, something sweet or greasy makes me feel better.  When I'm eating healthily, there is no emotion to it. I eat good foods because of the benefits that I feel in my body, not my emotions.  I eat bad foods because they make me happy...like smiling, mmm mmm mm mmm mmmmm, humming a negro spiritual while I lick my fingers happy!!!  

This will be the hardest part of this process...finding my happy without the help of Sour Patch Kids or mashed potatoes...really digging down deep and discovering what makes my soul shine.  I honestly can't say that I ever remember a time in my life being truly happy.  Food can be like a drug in that way...trick your psyche into accepting a sugar-fueled endorphin rush in place of true joy...chasing the next temporary high in the form of an ice cream sundae.  D.A.R.E. should have taught me to just say no to cheesecake!

The part of losing weight that has always scared me is the deep soul-searching, but I realize that without this necessary component, I'll never truly be free from the pounds; even if I get to my goal size, without the vital self-work, I'll simply be carrying my fat like dead weight (pun intended).  I found a place called Fat Yoga...I think that will be a good practice for me to learn so that I can find the answers that are locked deep within my cellulite.  I meet with the instructor, Anna, tomorrow... I'm so excited!  She was almost 300 pounds at her largest and says that yoga has transformed her life...I've always wanted to try yoga, but was afraid because of my size--the thought of doing a dashama scorpion pose...HA!  But Fat Yoga was developed for "extra cushioned" people with modified poses that still teach proper form and give a good workout.

Anna wanted to meet for coffee, but as part of my commitment to myself, I suggested that we meet for a walk instead.  I know that I will not lose weight overnight, but I'm certainly learning a lot about myself in the process! 

Superwoman Juice!

I believe I can fly...too bad I'm afraid of heights :(

I was always a bit skeptical of fully green juices.  I have no problem adding kale and spinach to my juices, but a juice fully comprised of veggies was too much like a granola chained-to-a-tree-to-be-one-with-nature health nut for my liking!!!  But I felt brave today...and now I feel like superwoman!

I combined a cup of kale, a handful of spring mix, carrot, pear, half of a zucchini and a bit of lemon and ginger.  The end result looks like bug guts, but was pretty tasty.  The ginger made it a little spicy, but the tartness of the lemon and sweetness of the carrot and pear paired together very nicely.  I instantly got a boost of energy and felt revitalized.

Felt in a carroty type mood tonight, so I had tilapia with carrot rice and a side salad.  Total dinner with juice just under 550 calories...1781 calories for the day.  Today is the first day where I hit every nutritional requirement without going over (not even sodium....slightly under for Potassium though)...got an A for my caloriecount.about.com report card :)

Report Card for the day:

1781 total calories
242g   Carbohydrates
104g   Protein
53g     Fat
11.7g  Saturated Fat
298g   Cholesterol
1189g Sodium
43g     Fiber (147% daily value!!!)
47,614mg    Vitamin A (952% daily value!!!)
1,142mg      Vitamin C (1523% daily value!!!)
1,126mg      Calcium
19.4mg        Iron
3111mg       Potassium (daily recommended is 4000)

Easy does it

One of my main problems with weight loss is often my black/white thinking: if I can't do it perfectly, why even try?  This is either good or bad.  Because I can't exercise full force, I won't do anything at all.  My perfectionist mindset has always been my greatest hindrance...I put far more pressure on myself than anyone else does.  I'm working on allowing myself room for error; I am human, after all.  This time, I vow that nothing will stop me.  Just because I fall does not mean that I failed...simply that I must get back up.  If I fall, I learn to stand on steadier feet.  To counter this tendency, I have set up a reward system for myself.  I bought myself a charm bracelet and will buy one new charm for every 10 pounds lost.  I'll post a picture tomorrow of the bracelet with the first charm as I should be hitting my first 10 pounds (8 down as of this morning...8 pounds in 6 days...WOW!!!).

I slept in today and started eating late so my calories were very low (slightly more than 1400 calories for the whole day).  Though I'm full and ate nutritiously, I'm feeling a bit light-headed and have a headache.  Had an energy bar and almond milk with protein powder for breakfast, a Clif bar as an afternoon snack and cooked fajitas and fat free refried beans for dinner.  I need to do much better with eating more calories earlier in the day because almost half of the day's calories (630 calories) came from dinner.  Made some home-made guacamole and used Greek yogurt instead of sour cream...absolutely AMAZING!!!

Normally when I have fajitas, I can probably devour at least four before I'm overstuffed and uncomfortable (not including the chips and salsa/bean dip that they serve at Mexican restaurants).  As I was eating, before I was even halfway done, I wanted to get more because I had only used half of the fajita mix I made. But I forced myself to slow down, TASTE my food, drink water...by the time I finished my plate I was stuffed.  It's unbelievable how many calories I would normally consume without thinking twice.  I am working with being present and enjoying my food...slowing down to savor the taste, texture, consistency.

Still doing well with drinking water...averaging about 10-12 glasses a day (though I'm going to the bathroom nearly as often lol).  Speaking of water...I have a colonic hydrotherapy appointment tomorrow.  I'm so nervous, but I hear that there are tremendous physical, mental and spiritual benefits so I'm excited for the results.

What's for dinner?

I got home late tonight and was not motivated to cook dinner.  I went to a restaurant down the street and had a grilled salmon fruit and spinach salad.  Dinner was about 600 calories (I estimated portion sizes and tend to guess on the upside).  

Overall I did very well today.  Went over my calorie target by 90 calories for the day, but I was under by a few hundred last night so it balances out.  

I track my calories on www.caloriecount.com and have found it to be a very useful tool in keeping an accurate depiction of what I'm consuming.  I also use to a kitchen scale to help measure when I'm cooking.

I'm feeling very motivated and excited about this journey.  Haven't started exercising much (other than walking the dogs a couple times)...with the pain in my joints caused by my size, it's often painful to walk.  But I will be starting back at the gym at the end of the month...trying to give my body a moment to get adjusted to my new eating.  One step at a time, right?

Baked tilapia with cherry tomatoes and sauteed zucchini

Nutrition facts: Total calories 397, Fat 2.9g, Saturated fat 0.9g, Cholesterol 48mg (16%), Sodium 506mg (21%), Dietary fiber 13.1g (52%), Sugars 6.7g, Protein 29.1g, Vitamin A 56%, Vitamin C 66%, Calcium 11%, Iron 19%

Nice, quick meal.  Baked tilapia topped with cherry tomatoes and green onion; baked yam sprinkled with cinnamon and nutmeg; sauteed zucchini, mushroom and cherry tomatoes.  I set my calorie goal for 2000 per day, about a 450 calorie daily deficit (which would amount to about a pound a week if I laid in bed all day...of course I don't plan to lay in bed all day, so I'm aiming for at least 4 pounds per week).  With today's 500 calorie lunch, ~400 calorie dinner and a little under 550 calories consumed for breakfast and snacks, I still have about 550 calories left at the end of my day.