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Super-Sized Secrets

Curds 'n' Weigh: Super-Sized Secrets

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Super-Sized Secrets

I was online reading weight loss success stories yesterday and there was a woman speaking about how she hid her obsession with foods for years. That got me thinking about all of the trips for a double cheeseburger and fries on the way home, being sure to throw away all of the fast food wrappers before someone got into my car. All the times I ordered food and pretended like I was ordering for myself AND someone else (you know, looking at a fake list of what "they" want) so that I wouldn't seem like a fat pig for ordering so much. Shrouded in secrecy, my gut kept getting bigger. I don't know what I was afraid of...maybe my partner would see how much I REALLY ate and leave me??? Maybe the drive-thru cashier would recognize me from the rest of my trips that week and talk about me after I left???

Thinking back, I really don't know what any of that was about.  I don't even care for fast food at all, I'd much rather have something delicious and healthy that I prepared was just always convenient, but never tasted good (yet I craved it and obsessed about when I could have another juicy, greasy, cheesy, burger). Amazing what we do when we aren't conscious and present with our thinking!

For me, one of the major things that will determine whether or not I'm successful at losing weight this time will be ridding myself of all of the years worth of secrets.  Opening my closets and letting the skeletons fall where they may.  This will require me to be vulnerable, which is scary but well worth it.  When I'm vulnerable, I realize that there are people who have felt (and still feel) the exact way that I do...people who can relate and want to support me.  When I'm vulnerable, I open myself up to the healing process.  Secrets got me to my current size...the truth will set me free.

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At July 23, 2012 at 1:59 PM , Blogger S. Free! said...

Girl! Do I know about this...I mute the phone when ordering at a fast food restuarant so friends on the phone don't know what I'm ordering. I have also been guilty of eating and throwing trash out. Or I sometimes ask for a to go box at a restuarant and then eat the food in the car. So to people I'm eating with it doesn't look like i finished my food/over ate. LOL! Funny but not really, I mean the secrecy is the killer.

At July 23, 2012 at 2:26 PM , Blogger B. Amour Love said...

Wow...I thought I was the only one who muted the phone lol!!! It's amazing what we do to hide our shame from others, when if we were honest we'd probably find that we overeat less often. Since I started this journey a month-and-a-half ago, I haven't been eating out so I haven't had to use any covert food-hiding techniques, but I am vowing today that IF (and WHEN) I do mess up, I will be honest about it and will not hide in secrecy.


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